TO ERR IS HUMAN

"TO ERR IS HUMAN, TO FORGIVE IS DIVINE."
Quote By: Alexander Pope (May 21, 1688 – May 30, 1744). Alexander Pope was an eighteenth-century English poet, best known for his satirical verse and for his translation of Homer.
This quote seems to be all I can think of today for the online posting...doing much more on my offline writing...
The computer is going into the shop today so will be offline until I get it back ~ In the meantime, I'll be writing on paper more...Hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial Day weekend.
P.S. I love and miss you my Sweet William.

If today is anything like yesterday, I think I'll stay in bed and just cover up my head....been living Murphey's Law lately. Things need to change, sooner rather than later.

Sleep walking ~ that's what it feels like I'm doing today. I have less than six hours left in today and wondering what will happen in the next five hours and thrity minutes. I hope something different happens than just the usual same old, same old...

More to come in a just a bit when I've edited and found a photo to match....
Ah, and now I cannot find the document. Just can't remember what I titled it so it may be a while before I can finish this post.
So, I'll work on the next one instead :)

The Blessings Of Family

After the Preston Castle Shoot for our Soar Photography group, my daughter and husband spent the rest of the day with my sister, Sherry, her husband, Les, and their kids, Stacie, and Clayton and his wife, Sarah.

We had such a nice day, just spending time with our beloved family, after they came home from years spent back east.

I'm so thankful to have my sister back home. My heart smiles today from the memories and good times of yesterday.

Nope, no photos, just happy memories.

Basic Necessities

Basic necessities are the only things we
 really need besides Love and Hope.

That's All Folks.

My Mantra

No picture today...just wicked tired and need to sleep.
I just wanted to check in to make sure I didn't fall off the good habit wagon.
Wrote a lot on paper today, but don't have the time or heart to do anything else.
I did do something today that I had not been able to do for over a year though...made me nervous and a bit confused. It shouldn't have, but it did.
Honesty in all I do and say...This is my mantra for the rest of my life ~

SUBDUED AND CONQUERED...VICTORY IS SWEET!

You can be proud of your G.I. Jane Mum, Will

& Char! I've subdued my addiction to gum 

& conquered the affliction of procrastination,

not just with writing, but with finally

getting rid of over a decade of paperwork!

I have a reason to smile...even small victories are sweet!

I have indeed made it the full 21 days...writing every single day, not just online, but in my personal journals, and writing assignments from several workbooks on the subject!!! I have also made it through 21 entire days without even the feel of gum in my mouth...I really didn't think I could do that one, and sure surprised myself that I actually did make it the full 21 days (it's 11:31 right now and I've only 29 more minutes to go) but I KNOW I'll do it and that is extremely exciting for me. I was pretty sure I could do the writing, but the gum thing that I've been addicted to all my life...2 and sometimes 3 packs a day (gosh it sound like a cigarette addiction - lol) when I was really worried about something it may have been even more than 3...I was more than a little skeptical that I'd make it the entire way, especially after finding it around the house! But the important thing is that I set 2 goals and accomplished them.

Now, I will set a limit to a pack a week...I'll save a lot of money too...kind of reminds me when I was working...before disability laid me up for three years.

I worked so much overtime, and became SO addicted to coffee at Starbucks, that I'd go in as soon as they opened...found one that opened at 4:00 a.m. and would get a Venti with 5 shots added in the a.m. (so that was either 7 or 8 shots total since I can't remember if a Venti has 2 or 3 shots to start with.)  Then, because I worked such long days, I'd be required to take two lunches. So, on my second lunch, I'd go to the Starbucks by my job and get another Venti nonfat, sugar-free vanilla latte with 5 more shots for the afternoon. This happened six days a week!

After several years of doing this, I became curious about just how much I was spending at Starbucks...so, I tallied up the charges on my bank statement, and my bill alone was over $400.00 a month! That's not counting when we'd go out together as a family of four for a Starbucks treat in the evenings or early Saturday mornings or my husband's purchases from the Starbucks in Lincoln when he was working! What a rude awakening to such a colossal waste of money....so, I bought my own French press, the Verona beans, a grinder and made my own STRONG coffee at home, even purchased a French-press cup to take to work, so I could make my own there too...and thus ended my addiction to Starbucks. I'll have one maybe 2 or 3 times a year, but each time I go to pay, I cringe at the price! lol ~ Me who used to be a confirmed shopaholic (only name brand everything for my family and me) has turned over a new leaf and indeed become a miser...never thought I'd see the day...but I've seen the light of frivolous spending and have radically changed my ways FOREVER! (I even sold most of my name brand stuff that was either like new or still had the tags attached on Ebay!) And did I mention I've always been a book addict. Loved the smell and feel of a brand new book...searched online for rare editions of my favorite classics...didn't sell those on Ebay, but a lot of the others got packed up and shipped out to my Ebay customers too, yet I refuse to scrimp on journals...love the embossed leather bound ones or those one of a kind truly unique journals...I like the creamy thick paper...no lines...I hate journals with lines, too constricting...love to write diagonal sometimes any which way and sometimes sketch a little picture. Oh, I've got some older ones or gift ones that have lines that have been well used, but no lines is my preference....complete freedom on the page! Wow...I do get off track so easily.

But here is my completion chant of victory for 21 days toward better habits.

"YAY...I REALLY, TRULY MADE IT!!! I CONQUERED TWO GOALS!!!

CAN YOU TELL I'M JUST GIDDY ON THE INSIDE ~ GRINNING LIKE A FOOL ON THE OUTSIDE AND IF I WASN'T AFRAID THE NEIGHBORS WOULD CALL THE POLICE, I'D GO OUTSIDE AND LITERALLY SHOUT IT TO THE WORLD THAT I MADE UP MY MIND, I SET 2 GOALS, I DEFEATED AN ADDICTION TO GUM...I'VE CARRIED TO FULFILLMENT THE GOAL TO WRITE EVERY DAY...I'VE SUBDUED AND CONQUERED! VICTORY IS SWEET!!!" (The all caps is in place of shouting out to my neighborhood!) 

I had another last gum story, but I must post this piece so it shows up before May 11th is gone in 4 more minutes so it  will show as posted today.
 "OKAY, BUT FOR NOW, JUST...YAY, YAY, DOUBLE & TRIPLE DECKER YAY FOR ME!!! CLAP!!! CLAP!!! CLAP!!! AWE...C'MON....I'LL JUST GIVE MYSELF A STANDING OVATION!
I remember how you always used to tell Charlotte to be a G.I Joe...be tough and not cry when she'd fall off her bike and things like that...so I thought the
photo of me in army fatigues only too perfect for my war against the bad habits gum addiction and procrastination!
So today I am a G.I. Jane for you, William :)

Will's Wild-Haired, Giant Bobble-Headed People

Today is day number 20 of my 21 day journey to test out the theory on making or breaking a habit if you do something or don't do something for 21 days straight. I can't believe I've actually made it this long without chewing any gum at all, even when I found a pack of my favorite, Watermelon Twist Trident, in my camera bag in the 'wee-sma' hours of the night! I was frantically

 searching for at least the USB cable to hook my camera directly to the computer so I could take a photo of the card Charlotte made me for Mother's Day in 1990, because in all of my sorting, shredding, filing, burning & trashing of the seemingly millions of tons of paperwork that's been boxed up for over a decade, I could not find any of the three card readers I have...& I was so desperate to get that photo of her kindergarten card on the post for Mother's Day because it was so perfect for the journey I've embarked upon. I finally gave up the search & used my cell phone to take the photo...that way, I could email it to myself to save to my files so I could then upload it to my blog for the Mum's Day. (wow was that ever a run-on sentence...need to brush up my English Grammar when I'm done with the paperwork!)

Back to the story:

I finally succeeded in getting that precious comment & the picture Charlotte drew of the two of us, duly noted in my writings for yesterday.

It's so funny the difference in how children perceive people, and in turn, draw them out on paper.

Charlotte always drew big boxy people with small heads & barely discernible hands and feet, but then she was older and noticed things more. William, on the other hand, drew great big round bobble heads, with enormous wild orange hair (or any other outrageous EXTREME color he was digging at the moment) big smiles and then just a bunch of long uneven legs around the bottom...usually a ton of extra long legs...He was 2 years old when he drew this...the upper right corner is me adding a note that is was drawn on September 7, 1989...just a toddler yet he noticed that people have both upper and lower lashes...I find that an interesting acknowledgement when he has so many legs or maybe they are legs and arms....maybe he drew so many legs because he couldn't ever sit still, he was always on the run to discover new treasures in his own little world. So perhaps he was just thinking if he had more legs he could get to his "fun stuff" faster ~ Who Knows?!?!

Here is a precious picture William drew of one of his wild-haired Giant-Bobble-Headed people with a ton of long legs! (Compliments once again of my cell phone :)   ~  I really need to get the real camera out of its bag & get back to shooting...anyway here is his fabulous self portrait at 2 years old!

He traced over his name & the short sentence: "This is me." Then proceeded to draw this picture. Oh how I absolutely LOVE finding all these treasures from my children's youngest years once more. It sure made the horrid job of filing, shredding, burning, trashing & yet more filing for over 46 hours straight a whole lot more enjoyable!

But...I still have over a dozen more bins to go through from the shed sitting on the back patio...ugh! Hey though, maybe I'll find more & more treasures from my little kiddies made during their childhood, so it might not be so bad.

As for leaving the job of organizing, shredding, burning, filing & trashing for over a decade (Unbelievable, I know) Well, this has been a lesson "WELL LEARNED!"

I will NEVER let a decade go by with out organizing my files & paperwork EVER, EVER, EVER again! Cant wait to "CHECK" this one off of my "TO DO" list...I just love the feeling of accomplishment after that nice
firm "CHECK" crosses off a task!

A Mother's Day From The Past

While going through bins and boxes of old

paperwork to be filed or shredded, I came

upon a few precious boxes of keepsakes

from my children and some that were given

to me when my own Mother passed away...

letters and cards I written to her as a child

& even as an adult. She kept & dated them

all, just like I do with my own children.
It's been a rough time, going through

years & years of old paperwork, even finding
 notes that William wrote on the back of
old mail or things like that (now saved
to be put in his memory books)...Sorting,

filing shredding, some stuff dating back to

the late 80's & early 90's. Yes, I put it

off, but now I am also getting it done,

one bin at a time & believe me there are

A LOT of them to go through...why did

I ever let it go this long is crazy, but maybe

someone up above knew I needed to

find that certain card just for today...
There was one Mother's Day card that
stood out to me above the others during my
21 day test of making a good habit of
writing every day & breaking a bad
habit of chewing gum so often.

It was dated 1990.

It was from my daughter Charlotte...she

was just 5 years old. Her kindergarten

teacher had asked her a bunch of

questions about her mom & then wrote

down her answers in each square of 

the card booklet on the page...then

Charlotte drew a picture to go with

each answer.

Her answers to most of the questions

made me smile & then one made me
laugh to the point of tears

It was this question...
"What She does that makes me happy."

(There was a little smiley face there to

 indicate happiness.) Charlotte's response
to her teacher's question was this:
"She gives me gum!"

I guess I took what made me sad in my

childhood, and tried to make my children

happy...I didn't remember that card from

1990 that Charlotte gave me when she

was just 5 years old,

but I guess I made her happy!
It went with my experiment so well,

I couldn't resist adding it today on

Mother's Day 2010, twenty years later....

when I'm in the midst of my own battle

with gum! How fitting a Mother's Day

gift for me today, to know that I made

her happy by letting her have gum!

I love you baby girl, our Princess Charlotte,

& I love you my only beloved son,

My Sweet William...

My Lil Brown Boy up in Heaven.

You both made being a Mum the

sweetest thing I've ever done!

Doing what I need to do to stay on track, even when the pain is overwhelming...writing everyday...staying away from gum.
It's day 18 of my 21 day run and looks like I'll make it to the end seeing as there is only 3 days left to reach 21 after today is over.

No title, no photo...but post I must...anything to keep at it while I struggle through the migraine. Yes, I've kept my word...still no gum. Just can't wait for this headache to go away.

Forgive the practically "non-post" quality lately. Sicker than a dog with this  migraine on top of increasing back and knee pain from the fall earlier this week. Hard to even walk at all right now. Still no gum...and still trying to write a bit everyday...

Headache came back full force during the night along with one of the worst nightmares I've had in a long time.
Still no gum...still writing, just not on the computer - too light...this headache has to break sometime soon...unbearable.

Migraine is getting to the "bearable" point...so may be able to post later tonight, but still writing in my journals/notebooks and still a no-go on the gum...learning to relax my jaws too, so there's a plus to this crazy experiment.

Still In The Game

Headache is still raging...can't think too straight. Checking in to say...still no gum and still writing even if only a line or two till this migraine lets up.
Yes, I'm still in the game.

My Head Is Still A Great Big Migraine

Still down with major league migraine...sigh...but I'm writing in a notebook so that counts. Will add them to my posts when this headache finally lets up.
Love to all my readers and yes....I'm still winning the trial.
It's day 12 of 21 days...almost there so it's all good :)

ZZZZZZZZZ's Needed

I've truly not slept for ages and I've been working on one post most of Friday and another one on Saturday, but need to use a yellow pad & pen because the brightness of the computer screen still aggravates the migraine.

Hopefully will be able to post as normal by Monday at the latest.

Now I lay me down to try to sleep  even though it's now 6:00 a.m.

It's lonely at night up alone...but I still have not peeked into that zippered pouch of Matt's lunch box to sneak a piece of gum...on over half way there and I've written quite a bit every day, just need to post the last two.

Good morning world, but it's Good night for me ~ just hope I can truly catch some zzzzzz's! That's how I spell relief...zzzzzz's for me!

Please, Please, Please!