Monday, June 27, 2011

Living A Life of Thanksgiving...

Thanksgiving isn’t just a holiday in the United’s
a presence of mind...a state of being. Giving thanks precedes every miracle. Take one of the many
examples Jesus gave while on earth.
When Jesus then lifted up his eyes, and saw a great company come unto him, he saith unto Philip, Whence
shall we buy bread, that these may eat? And this he
said to prove him: for he himself knew what he would do. Philip answered him, Two hundred pennyworth of bread is not sufficient for them, that every one of them may take a little. One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, saith unto him, There is a lad here, which hath five barley loaves, and two small fishes: but what are they among so many? And Jesus said, Make the men sit down. Now there was much grass in the place. So the men sat down, in number about five thousand. And Jesus took the loaves; and when he had given thanks, he distributed to the disciples, and the disciples to them that were set down; and likewise of the fishes as much as they wouldWhen they were filled, he said unto his disciples, Gather up the fragments that remain, that nothing be lost. Therefore they gathered them together, and filled twelve baskets with the fragments of the five barley loaves,
which remained over and above unto them that
had eaten. Then those men, when they had seen 
the miracle that Jesus did , said, This is of a truth
that prophet that should comeinto the world.”
John 6:5-14
If we withhold thanks we hinder ourselves from
being the recipient of the miracles & blessings God has in store for us. The next time I’m hesitant to thank God for what goes wrong, I need to think of
what would happen if I give thanks for the bad things
as well as the good things that take place in my life.
  Jesus gave thanks when he broke bread in the upper
room with his disciples, even prior to the awful death
he knew he would face on the Calvary, so that the
miracle of His resurrection could take place…allowing
anyone who willed, to be set free from the law
of sin and eternal death.
Every blessing or miracle is preceded with thanksgiving.
Lord, my quest, my vision, is to live each day with a t
hankful heart…learning to give thanks no matter what
comes my give thanks for the past...what
was, what has already happened to me...both the
bad & the good, for the present...what I am
going through now...every single thing, for the
future...what will come my way both what is dreadful
as well as what is favorable.
Living with thankfulness, not just on my lips through
the words I speak, but living with thankfulness filling
my heart, overflowing from my soul and permeating
my the point that all negativity is relinquished...abandoned to the
pit from whence it came.
I believe with all of my heart that this will truly unlock
my soul from the things in the past that have kept me bound...I know this to be true, because ourHeavenly Father promised us this in His
Word: "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,
and ordained you, that you should go forth and bring
forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain:
that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my
name, He may give it you."
John 15:16 
My prayer is to forsake & cast away what is
pessimistic, & begin to give thanksgiving to God for
everything that comes my way...
I know this will take time. I know it won’t be easy…some days it may be downright distressing…but in the long-run, this will become a way of life for me. Becoming a thankful person will not only change me but it will completely
change my outlook on life.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Father's Day 2011 & William is Missing...

Today is Father's Day & you should be celebrating your Dad with Charlotte...but all we have are memorials of the anniversaries of the day you went missing, the days searching, & the day you were finally found, or your birthday...yet still at each one your Dad lets us all know how much he loves you & misses you & tells stories about the great times he had being your Dad & all your funny stories & we are missing you more than ever...You were your Dad's best buddy & he misses you so are missing at his Father's Day dinner today. You should be with him...but God had other plans & my heart breaks a little more when I see your Dad miss you so's just not right that you are no longer with us...that you will not be here to carry on the family name & that your Dad was so proud to have a that our name would be kept alive...
If our love could have kept you alive...You'd be alive still, William...
Time cannot take away the hurt - It is impossible - One cannot merely turn the page as if it were a book and begin another chapter...The wound goes too deep...the agony of loss too great to heal. Part of our hearts and souls died when our son died...and we will never be the same people again...not ever, ever be the same people that we were before the accident...we are forever changed.
We miss our only beloved son dreadfully...I listen every day to the voicemail on my phone that he left me...calling just to tell me that he loved me...God knew I needed that message...I guess heaven needed our son more than we did...Is that possible?
I think of every moment of time we had with our only son & I count each moment as a beautiful treasure from heaven...given to us to enrich our lives! God truly blessed us with the best son in the whole world...our little brown boy....our Sweet William who was ornery & crazy & funny & lovable & silly and & downright cute! Oh dear God sometimes I think I will go mad with longing to have one of his "boy-hugs" again...William, we miss you so much...your crazy faces & your radiant white smile & the silly dances & jokes & pranks can we bear more music coming out of your room...your drums and bass guitar are still and silent.....& soon your room will have to be packed away because we have to leave our little "House of Dreams" our very first home that has so many carvings of your initials everywhere...
It's not right...I need to be in this our little home, to do your laundry & cook your meals & take care of you if you get sick...& just be your I've always done....that is what I am supposed to what do I do now? You are really truly gone & that is what is making me die on the inside & breaking my heart a little more every day...
Maybe we loved you too much? Is there such a thing?
Forever loving & missing you sweet William,
Pepe & Mums xoxo to you in Heaven Little Brown Boy. We love you for ever & miss you till heaven...

Monday, June 06, 2011

Urgent Prayer Request For Matt's Mother

I did not mean to offend anyone with my last post and I'm truly sorry if I did. My only desire with the prior post was to bring awareness to those that are not grieving the loss of a give a little glimpse into the our world so there is not such an awkwardness when we meet or so that they can realize that though we  may have changed, we still love, want and need interaction with our family and friends, though at times our actions seem to imply otherwise.
I send my love to all whom have reached out to our family and other families that have lost a child/children...we are grateful for anything you have done and still do to assist or comfort or help us along this road called grief.
So now, I will go on and write of other things for a while...try to find some new and maybe interesting material to share on my blog.
It's a "No Photo Monday" for me...will try and post photos later....

Our family does have an urgent request: Please help us pray for my Matt (my husband's) mother. She is very ill in the hospital and we need a miracle. We appreciate any prayer support you can offer. Thank you!